BBC doppelgangers.

Mixing my entertainment with my politics.

So who is head of MI5 and who is editor for Newsweek? Every time Jonathan Alter appears as an analyst on the news, my television screams Harry Pearce (off Spooks). (Peter Firth, aka Sir Harry, is left; Jonathan Alter at right.)

Secretary of State for Social Affairs Hugh Abbot is often up a shit creek without a paddle in The Thick of It. Alas, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford has experienced the same whilst hiking the Appalachian Trail. (Chris Langham, aka Hugh the Abbot, is left; Mark Sanford at right.)

'Beautiful People', such as Alex Lanipekun.

How spectacular was the third episode ('How I Got My Water Feature') of this year's Beautiful People? Very. It's the heyday of makeover shows and Simon really wants a water feature. His dad cobbles together a shoddy bamboo spout in minutes which hardly lives up to Ground Force standards. Simon's only option is to invest in one himself. Unfortunately there's the small problem of money, so he and Kylie sneak off to find a Saturday job to fund his latest dream project. Meanwhile, the ladies of the neighborhood are abuzz over a new fitness instructor, Tiger, who happens to look exactly like.....Alex Lanipekun. Yes, a glorious O-M-G moment. Granted, this Tiger isn't someone you want around your 16 year old daughter, as Simon's parents soon discover. But even though he's no Ben Kaplan (Lanipekun's more respectable character from Spooks), he does make an afternoon car wash insanely tantalizing. Throw in some spandex and it all amounts to a delicious slice of television. (The picture's probably from Spooks.)

Here is a taste, only the end bit and none of the, ahem, car wash, so be sure to check out the entire episode. The man's a charmer.

'George Clooney throws you a wink and you leave your brains at the door.'

O-M-G. I just caught Sir Richard Armitage in the Wednesday slice of BBC's Moving On series, 'Drowning Not Waving'. There are 5 in all, I think, just short 45 minute sets shown each afternoon this week. It was the first one I'd watched though I'd heard that the others were fantastic. The general line is great writing matched by great acting. How comforting that solid storytelling is still appreciated. I hope the Beeb takes notice and commissions more work that exercises our intellectual and emotional capacities rather than stuff that exercises the CGI department.

Today's edition featured Mr. Armitage as John Mulligan - the kid voted 'most likely to end up in jail' by his high school class but who seems, 20 years later, more like the kid 'most likely to be a millionaire'. Big John Mulligan has landed himself a profitable gig in real estate, and some devilishly good looks. When he comes knocking on old classmate Ellie's door, she's a bit taken, as we all would be if Richard Armitage came calling. Turns out he wants to help her out of a property jam; the girl is stuck in a big pile of debt poo and needs to unload her devalued house. Mr. Mulligan shows an interest in house and lodger, and a swank dinner, some fish and chips, and a few Budweisers later, things look grand. Ellie, played by Christine Tremarco, indulges her best friend, also an old classmate, in the new relationship. Oh, but things soon go to shits. Her friend Maria gives John a proper verbal beatdown, much to the anger and confusion of Ellie. Maria soon reveals that John is not a posh real estate tycoon but in fact a dirty drug dealer. Damn. Ellie confronts John about his hobby/business, and accusations go into overdrive. Eventually, she has to decide whether to side with her best friend or her bed friend, and his money.

I'll ruin the ending and say that John planted drugs on Ellie who in turn gets the bastard locked up. The final scene is in-tense! Not because anyone's shouting or squirting tears. Quite the opposite. The two sit there, under the eye of a guard, and quietly try to sort out this sludge of betrayal and guilt they've landed themselves in. It's almost as if they are trying to outdo each other, trying to come out on top in spite of it all. For John, he's satisfied with an honest accounting for his actions, whatever side of the moral divide they fall on. Meanwhile, Ellie wraps herself in a guise of virtue and incorruptibility, somewhat unwilling to acknowledge her own complicity. They finally part, each a little vindicated, a little satisfied, if uncomfortably so. But if they emerge redeemed, they also can't escape coming off as losers. There's a sense that neither really gets it; John may absolve himself of a guilty conscience and pride himself on his self-sufficiency, but at the end of the day, he's still a drug dealer. And Ellie can stick it to John now that she's helped put him away, but he indicts her too, reminding her that she's been rescued by the same drug money.

Credit goes to the writer for a very tight script, and to the producers for holding the line. An extra hour could have been squeezed out of this story, but the shorter time slot pushed things forward. The last scene was especially choice, for some of the reasons I listed above. Of course, credit also to the prime acting. Richard Armitage stuns again. The ladies on his fan forum positively flipped and I think a good number are still passed out in a puddle of their own drool. The way he reflects the ambiguities of this character reminded me in some ways of his creepy role in Between the Sheets. In both instances, the characters are juggling two very different personas, one which they actively craft for public consumption as it were and the other which they are keen to suppress. I rather like him taking on the John Mulligan type of baddie. He's much more devastating here than as Sir Guy of Gisbourne in Robin Hood, though maybe that's because I don't often come across insecure leather-clad jackoffs with greasy hair and a huge sword. But he also had a capable foil in Christine Tremarco. Though I'd never seen her work, I really enjoyed watching her here. She has a way of hinting at her character that catches you from all sides. During their first dinner, Ellie is cautious, skeptical but intrigued and a bit flirtatious for the same reasons. The last moment when she looks at John and finally walks away is equally textured, and you're not quite sure what to finally make of this relationship. They start off two fractured characters and end two fractured characters. What a way to start off the next chapter of one's life.

Thank you once again, British taxpayers!

(George Clooney does nothing for me, but if Richard Armitage gave me a wink, I'd puddle.)

Holiday television I

Watching: Robin Hood S02E02
Listening: Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
Reading: North and South by Elizabeth Gaskill

News of the Day:

• Harold Pinter...dies.
• New Wallace and Gromit!! And it's toasty.
• China's melamined milk trial opens. Let's hope the judges' bubble teas aren't tainted.
• Recycle your mobile, or die.
• Spider ancestors.
• China v Pirates (of the Aaargh, matey variety).
• The Pirates (of the Pittsburgh variety) sign two Indian pitchers after reality show performances. Expect a Bollywood version soon!
• The Times asks: Are de luxe CDs a rip off? Yes.
• Board games and Christmas are as sure as passing Go and collecting $200, or landing in Jail.
• Baby born on floor. Scary.
• Another Rupert Penry-Jones article to celebrate this Sunday's 39 Steps. And pictures, just for good measure. (A 'posh totty' indeed.)
  

Christmas television. We don't have Christmas specials in America because our television seasons are twice as long and usually run through the holidays. Instead, we have A Christmas Story marathons. Well, marathons of all sorts and lots of football. (Hail, Notre Dame!) Anyway, I managed to get bits and bobs of UK Christmas programming. Mark Gatiss's Crooked House freaked me out proper, and I only watched one episode. I caught part deux because my favorite History Boy, Samuel Barnett, did another effeminate turn, this time as Billy, the main guy's good chum. The show comes in three episodes and the spooky stories are linked by a haunted house and the discovery of an old door knocker. I'll spoil the surprise and say a ghostly, or ghastly, bride haunts another bride-to-be. This in and of itself is not too scary - except her eyes are gouged out!! Bridal apparitions freak me out more than clowns (although I'm also watching Ashes to Ashes at the moment).

My second taste of BBC Christmas was Gavin and Stacey. I'll admit this is the first episode I've seen in full. (The one with the History Boys at the bachelor party doesn't count because it's chopped up on Youtube.) The Barry clan head over to the Shipmans' for Christmas, and everyone kind of gets more than they bargained for - except for dear Smithy (James Corden) who finds himself increasingly squeezed out of his son's life by bus driver Dave. Ehhh...it was endearing, the way you're family is endearing after overdosing on Christmas ham, eggnog, green bean casserole, and one too many stories from crazy uncle. Which means I managed an emotional attachment to the characters but none of the cozy, fleecy embrace I was hoping for considering how much people adore this show; there were some smiles but no healthy laughs. I like that the tension between Smithy and Nessa (Ruth Jones) rubs the heart like a Brillo pad at times. Corden and Jones's script is fantastically muted, allowing some real acting for a change. Anyway, it's all a great set up for the third season where we'll see Gavin and Stacey transplanted in Wales for his new assignment and more uncertainty for Smithy, Nessa, Neil, and possibly fiance Dave. Ahh, love, marriage, and that messy bit in between.

My final Christmas treat, and my only present to myself, was the latest Wallace and Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death. Fantastic! I could amuse myself with plasticine animation for hours, days. This short is a simple story of love, murder, bread, and dogs. The two run a bakery with an adorable assembly line (if one can be called such) that pops out golden lumps of bread. But there is a cereal murderer on the loose, and they could be next! Anyone who doesn't warm to this story should be made to eat stale bread and drink from a hose for the whole of 2009.

There is a post script to all of this, one involving pre-war Britain, spies, and Rupert Penry-Jones, always a fine combination. 39 Steps airs this Sunday so my holiday isn't over yet.