6 hot guys, 1 phone call.

From a (slightly abbreviated) conversation I had last night - with my mum. Leave it to me to find a way to weave 6 uncommonly attractive men into one phone call.

"Mom, I'm crazy about a Korean singer."
"Your brother told me. I told him that's not possible because you were just obsessing over Soler last night."
"Don't worry, I'm still crazy about Soler. In fact, when I went out today, I was looking for their studio again." (It's hidden somewhere in my neighborhood.)
"So who is this new guy?"
"He's from a Korean boy band. You said Korean guys are cute so you should be happy with my choice. He can sing, he can dance, he's quiet, sweet. His English is okay too. Much better than Hong Kong pop stars these days. They're not like the older generation. Tony Leung has good English."
"Really?"
"Yeah! I'll send you a YouTube clip. I wanted to buy Duke of Mount Deer today when I went past the bookstore."
"What is that?"
"It's a wuxia novel."
"I don't read."
"I know, Mom. I'm not sure how you have a double English major daughter. Anyway, it's been made into a tv show many times. Tony Leung was in a TVB version in the 1980s. Even Huang Xiaoming was in the most recent one. Did you know he's also going to be in a new movie with my other crush, Donnie Yen."
"Who?"
"I didn't tell you about my crush on Donnie Yen?"
"Who's Donnie Yen? I've never even heard of him."
"Oh my goodness. Don't you watch Hong Kong movies? He's the top martial artist right now. Among Hong Kong martial arts legends, there's Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Donnie Yen."
"I've never heard of him."
"Ai! His mom's a wushu sifu who helped bring martial arts to America. They moved to Boston when he was young. Then he started getting into trouble -"
"Like Bruce Lee."
"- so his mom sent him to Beijing. After his studies, he took a detour in Hong Kong on his way back to America and ended up working with Yuen Woo-Ping."
"Who?"
"Mom! He's one of the most famous action directors in Hong Kong!"
"Oh, wasn't he in a Danny Chan movie?"
"Yes! He played the goofy suitor to Paula Tsui in Merry Christmas. Anyway, they started working together and the rest is history. I'll send you a link so you can see who Donnie Yen is."
"Okay, whatever."
"Do you want me to send you the link to a music video of this Korean guy?"
"No."

Your loss, Mum, your loss. But credit to her for listening to me spout nonsense, which I've been doing since I first laid eyes on Joey McIntyre. My birthday's coming up, a reminder I need to grow up. But I'll do what I'm best at and procrastinate.

'Ip Man 2' and throwback Donnie Yen interview.

You might notice that I haven't posted much on Donnie Yen in the last couple weeks. Okay, I haven't posted much at all, though that has affected nary an amoeba in the universe. One reason is that I gave up movies. I'd like to say I did it for God and will be abstaining throughout Lent, but alas, that would be a lie. Truth is, the overdue thesis has taken priority and I banned myself from all movies and movie-like entertainment until the thing is lock-boxed in some oral defense purgatory. Therefore I can't really go on about Mismatched Couples or Bodyguards and Assassins because I still haven't properly seen either. (The other reason is that my small head only has room for one massive obsession at a time, and at the moment Soler is clearly filling the void between my ears. In a bit of a coup though, Donnie Yen directed Soler's MV for his movie Dragon Tiger Gate. Oh, how the gods conspire!)

But I think it's about time to re-enter Donnie territory as news regarding Ip Man 2 is coming fast. With an April 29 release date, the coming month and a half should be filled with Donnie wing-chun-ass-kicking goodness. The folks at Sina have a brief set of photos with the Ip Man looking serene - and talking about all manners of loving his wife. If you want to see the less domesticated side of him, however, there is a long interview from before I knew he existed, which would be ~11 years ago. It's a bit dated but there's still a lot of juice - Donnie cries at movies. Donnie is a shoddy actor. Donnie likes Armageddon. Whoa - wait a minute. Let's hope he and wife Cici aren't partial to animal crackers. Anyway, good read.........And now the last page of the thesis!

Donnie Yen = 'The King in Bed'.

Just what the title says. (And I still think his 14 Blades body got some CGI assist.)

'14 Blades' (錦衣衛) trailer.

I can't say I'm eager to see this one, even if Donnie Yen can't seem to keep his shirt on. The movie appears to have no plot, judging from the trailer. I guess that's the norm these days. It is a Chinese New Year release after all. Anyway, it looks like a study in fancy headgear.

IronKey or 'Iron Monkey'?

This is frustrating. One of my daily websites continues flashing ads for something called 'Iron Key'. Of course my Donnie Yen-saturated mind keeps seeing 'Iron Monkey'. If only actual Iron Monkey ads popped up instead of plugs for 'the world's most secure flash drive'. One of these things will make me feel safe and you don't stick him in a computer.

versus

'Ip Man 2' peek.

Wait, Donnie Yen and Huang Xiao Ming together, in one movie (and not some sprawling cinematic excuse to throw every Mainland and Hong Kong actor together for the purposes of buffeting Party popularity - I'm talking to you, Founding of a Republic (建國大業))? Yes, it is true, even though I'm late to the news. Ip Man 2 (葉問2:宗師傳奇) will star 2 of my now favorite people. This should be a decided step up for Mr. Huang whose last foray into the Hong Kong film industry was a little doozy called The Sniper (神鎗手), or more popularly 'Edison Chen's last (proper) movie'. Unfortunately, much of the press surrounding the release focused on Mr. Chen's sex scandal fallout, and the subsequent slicing and dicing of the film to minimize the budding photographer's screen time reduced it to a skeletal shoot em up number. Mr. Huang, however, seems to have a knack for prime roles, or he has a top agent. Aside from scoring substantial television parts that helped establish him as an upcoming star (particularly Return of the Condor Heroes (神鵰俠侶) and Shanghai Bund (新上海灘)), he also landed in Feng Xiaogang's sparse retelling of Hamlet. The Banquet (夜宴) featured international and art house favorites Zhang Ziyi and Ge You and L'Oreal Men spokeperson Daniel Wu. Not too shabby. So expect Ip Man 2 to rocket Huang further up the star ladder. Not only is it a much anticipated sequel to a popular and well-received movie, a young Bruce Lee will also feature in the story. Fans are already having wet dreams about this one.

Limmer discovers Donnie Yen.

"I will destroy you - and look like a fucking stud in my leather jacket."

Why am I only now discovering Donnie Yen? (This is the reason.) If I had watched his movies when I was younger (though maybe not The Holy Virgin vs the Evil Dead), and if the ignorant kiddies hadn't pulled their puerile Karate Kid shit on me, maybe I would be on my way to being as kick ass as Donnie I-will-crush-you-and-sprinkle-you-on-my-cornflakes Yen. Alas, I opted for another Donnie, the Wahlberg variety, or rather his New Kids crew. There's no excuse really, but hey, they said they were hangin' tough.

Donnie Yen, meanwhile, has earned his hardened credentials by mostly avoiding movies featuring EEG's galaxy of stars, Twins Effect II and Dragon Tiger Gate being hiccups. This probably explains why I haven't seen many of his films, which fail to achieve the high standards of moronic fluff to which I regularly subject myself. Mr. Yen just doesn't seem to hang with the My Wife is 18 and Dummy Mommy without a Baby crowd. Instead, he makes movies about hurting people. I added another to my collection tonight - SPL (殺破狼) - and may review it at some point, like when it's not 4a. But for now, one of the better fight scenes I've seen in awhile - a fierce, stripped down battle between Donnie Yen and Wu Jing. As a so-called skater, I feel there is something deeply seductive about artful, deft, and polished choreography, whether on the ice with blades at your feet or in some HK alleyway with blades in your hands.....Or maybe my admiration has something to do with the fact that Donnie Yen is smoking in black.