The TV BAFTAs v.2009

UPDATE: Ahh, Richard has appeared, presented, and left. The Armitage Army/Spooks boards will be quieted now. Time for some sleep.

***
I now understand the allure of Twitter. It's meant for things like updating sports scores and red carpet sightings. Not to be used by politicians to feign coolness and twit twatty jabs at one another. So I've been refreshing my pages every few minutes to get updates. Rubbish. How early 2000s of me.

They've given about half the awards, and the first one out - Best Drama Series. Result...Spooks lost! :( Admittedly expected because Wallander had the hype. I guess if The Wire never won an Emmy, we can live with great shows getting shafted. Anyway, there are more important things in life. I'm waiting for Richard Armitage to present an award but not sure how much longer I can hold out. Rupert Penry Jones has had his go. The things I want to say about him, and the presenters in general, must be put in context with the tone of the show and Graham Norton's Letterman-like performance. But I'm tired, so these thoughts will have to come once I've got my 8 hours.

Bits, Bobs, and BAFTAs for 4.26.09

Watching: Taye Diggs in Wicked
Listening: Taye Diggs in Wicked

News of the Day:

• UK's rich list takes a hit. I'm feeling punchy.
• Twitter + politicians.
• A longer than necessary article dissecting artistic achievement and beauty.
• Interesting commentary from Independent about US television's golden age (that would be now) and how Brit tv compares.
• Juice. Behind the Music: X Factor.
• What is wrong with real British spies?! Another major fuck up. Lucas North, show 'em how it's done.
• Whew. "Bob the Builder's close shave with the Village People."
• Eton opens its doors for the poor black kid. Good idea, bad idea?
  

TV BAFTAs are tonight! Richard Armitage and Hermione Norris are slated to present. French and Saunders are up for a special award so perhaps a little Harry Jasper Kennedy action? Also, Spooks is up for best drama series. If they don't win, I hope they send in Lucas North to set things right. No one seems to think it will, but The Guardian is a fan.

Meanwhile, the preview for episode 6 of Robin Hood looks...good. Richard Armitage and Toby Stephens? That's somewhat indulgent.

Bits and Bobs for 4.25.09

Watching: Daily Show and Colbert Report
Listening: Bach's Goldberg Variations on podcast
Reading: The Yes of Jesus Christ by Pope Benny XVI

News of the Day:

• The World Digital Library goes live! Featuring art, lit, and music from around the globe. Thank you, UNESCO.
• Bull charges into supermarket. Craaazy bull.
• Glenn Beck is an affront to my intelligence.
• Poor Times. Sometimes you just don't get the good Obama stories. But if you want to report on his new Blackberry...(And what's with the hair?)
• Poorer Independent. Sometimes you don't even get bad Obama stories. But is it really necessary to report on fantasy presidencies?
  
• Naked Japanese pop star. -_- Why do the Asians only get on the news for crazy shit, Edison Chen?
• Conservative cat fight on the other side of the pond. Queens.
• The politician Twitter obsession needs to stop. Y'all aren't going to tell us anything worth knowing in 140 words.
• Cat competitions. Why do we need to stroke their egos? Especially these fugly award-winning cats.
• The UN says macho men could be a health risk. They are already a risk to my feminine sensibilities.
• Globe and Mail says Susan Boyle is average. Stop being party poopers because we still love her.
• The Wire spawn - good actors making it big. This is the next show on my list.
• Kids are addicted to phones.
• Bill Gates's daddy talks about being Bill Gates's daddy.
• Young Chinese kids in Canada play golf. My kids are getting Legos, colored pencils, and a baseball.

Tonight marks the return of Richard Armitage to Robin Hood. Hurrah!

Bits and Bobs for 4.24.09

Listening: various HK pop

News of the Day:

• What could be better than a choir fest in the UK? A gay choir fest!!
• An article about the glory of pizza. Times, I'm proud of you.
• Russian authorities fake a murder to catch plotters! I think I saw that in a movie.
• New York lawyer gives her squabbling kids the boot and leaves them on the side of the road - 3 miles from home!
• Torture memos could mean shit for the British government.
• Jackie Chan - control your mouth.
• DVD copying software goes to court. Hollywood, why are you such a bitch?
• Frodo's bones go on display in New York.
• Suck it, preppy designer labels. Teens (read: their parents) don't have money anymore.
• Enough with squiggly letter tests to prove to a computer that you are human.

I have a massive headache that is about to morph into a migraine. The last time this happened, I was half passed out and starving. The only thing I could do was make a SPAM sandwich (which was more delicious than I could have ever imagined) and watch The Painted Veil on Chinese tv. No wonder why I never took to that movie. This time I have a better entertainment selection but I don't know if even Richard Armitage can save me from the cerebral shit-pounding that awaits.

Bits, Bobs, and a Badass for 4.22.09

Listening: Pray-as-you-go podcast by the British Jesuits

News of the Day:

• Is college worth it? I'm having second thoughts, and so is my bank account.
• All you need is love, love is all you need - says the Archbishop of Wales. (And sex ed.)
  
• Higher taxes = brain drain? Are we talking about the bankers who fucked up the financial system because I'd say good riddance!
• Big Ag criticizes Michelle Obama's organic garden. Piss off, Big Ag.
• Oh shit! 1 in 10 gamers are 'pathologically addicted'! How about general internet addiction? Where is our patch?
• Wait, who needs a patch when you have friends to help improve your health?!
• House Hunters: Ants Edition.
• NYT reviews State of Play. Ben Affleck in a role originated by David Morrissey? 2 hr shot of a 6 part miniseries? Here's an adaptation that has s-u-c-k-s written all over it.
• How come the US can build space ships and send people to the moon - but we can't increase the bloody high school graduation rate so that we can keep building shit?
• The President says: volunteer.
• Facebook Causes - another useless application. How is asking kids to click on a 'cause' a smart way to raise money or awareness? Oh...it isn't.
  

Star Trek
I don't even like Star Trek, but I do like hot guys in uniform and hot chicks in minis. So I'm am disturbingly psyched about this movie, and to celebrate, here are 3 articles from The Times. 5 star review. Star Trek for a new generation. Star Trek for an Obama generation. Excessive, yes. Movie better be good.

Hugh Jackman
Um, the veins actually pop out of his biceps. I don't know if that's healthy, but does it really matter when you are Wolverine and hot? Methinks no. To celebrate, zero articles from The Times and 1 interview (in 2 parts) from Jonathan Ross.

Richard Armitage (or Mr. Hugh Jackman lookalike, as my friend says)
Ha! He gets his own section today. There is no real news. I just wanted to report that after a painful 2 week hiatus, grisly Guy of Gisbourne is finally coming back in this weekend's episode 5 of Robin Hood. Also, previews are up for episode 6 which marks the debut of Sir Toby as the wretched Prince John, because apparently Toby Stephens can only be cast in roles that require sneering.

Bits and Bobs for 4.17.09

Listening: Cry Me a River by Susan Boyle

News of the Day:

• 1536: The year King Henry VIII went from Jonathan Rhys Meyers hot to fugly.
• MI5 wants YOU! (If you have Q-like creativity.)
• One tall Chinese dude.
• How to soothe your allergies? Nasal irrigation.
• Times picks its 50 Best US shows. US seasons are too long, and when the UK does them well, they do them really well.
  

The python ate my homework.

I'm sleep deprived, which usually means I can watch youtube for hours. So I was reading about the Hillsborough tragedy and ended up watching a documentary. Really sad. Then I saw another article on BBC about a man who wrestled a python for 3 hrs and then bit it after the bastard took the fight up a tree. Pythons are mean motherfuckers. So I watched some python eating animals 5x as big videos. There was a really good one that showed it eating a deer or gazelle, something with antlers. That is insanity. It also showed how the jaw/head is made of multiple parts so that it can swallow a boar or something. I also watched a really old black and white clip from some crazy safari like it was out of a Kipling novel. There was a python and lion were engaged in a monster battle. (Lion won.) I can only take so many crazy animal films though, so I watched some Richard Armitage to calm myself down, though he obviously has the opposite effect. I ended up watching some clips from Robin Hood, and I would just like to say that Lucy Griffiths is a little girl to Richard Armitage's Guy of Gisbourne. What's creepy is not his guyliner but the fact that he wants to bed someone half his age. I thought the show was supposed to be age appropriate.

'Between the Sheets' on Easter. Naughty.

Watching: North and South
Listening: the whirring of my computer
Reading: newspapers and news magazines and news blogs because I'm a news whore

News of the Day:

• Happy Easter!!!

Right, there's no real news of the day. It's quite late and I'm tired. Since Lent is over, I indulged in some youtube and tv. :( But now I have ~500 words to write before I can call it a night. Time was wasted on the following: random Chinese music videos, random Richard Armitage clips from Spooks, et al. But my real discovery was a tv show Mr. Armitage did some time ago called Between the Sheets. It's about tangled sex lives, billing itself as a grown-up conversation about the real issues complicating today's sexual relationships. Mr. Armitage plays Paul, a youth offender officer, who is in a relationship with Alona, a sex therapist to the other main couples of the show. (This is more of a subplot - but a zexy one.) Shit goes down when Paul is accused of having sex with one of his underage charges and Alona isn't sure whether or not she believes his denial.

So here are the 6 lengthy clips that some wonderful person has edited onto youtube. Thoughts below.

Shoddy dye job, super creepy facial hair.

So that was mucho disturbing. I'm going to blame tonight's lack of productivity on the fact that I'm still reeling from this revelation. I've only seen what's on youtube but if you read the comments, apparently Paul agreed to oral sex with the girl, after denying anything more than a second of wanting to kiss her. The shock isn't what he did so much that he managed to get away with the deception. Creepy, creepy bastard. The worst of it is, I really don't want to think of someone with Richard Armitage's face as a sex offender!! Alas, the perils of acting. Anyway, two thumbs up for a stellar performance. The man is this side of awesome.

(I did try to erase this Paul character from my brain so I popped in ol' North and South instead. Ahh, Thornton. Feel free to love and possess me.)

Oh, I do have a Robin Hood update. Guy is apparently on hiatus for the next two episodes (S03E03-04) so nothing to indulge in really, though I'm a mild Joe Armstrong fan and I find David Harewood intriguing. Episode 2 was ~mehmeh~. I've concluded that I really can't enjoy the show because I'm caught in the middle of the two main demographics they're aiming for. I'm not 10, though my interests often indicate otherwise, nor do I have a 10 year old to enjoy it with. So it's hard not to be cynical about a show that I usually watch whilst hunched over a computer screen in my mini-room and that features some, quite frankly, shitteous dialogue. The Robin Hood world doesn't claim the most elegant of speakers for sure. And none of the many themes and undercurrents of the show really impress on me; again, probably because I'm at least twice the age of half the viewers. Love? Mr. Thornton cures that. Adventure? I have a couple months to write 2 chapters of my thesis. Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor? In America, we steal from the poor and give to the rich, so that also qualifies as 'adventure'. Nevertheless, looking forward to Guy's return in another week's time. Hope Prince John (Toby Stephens) will string along.

Bits and Bobs for 3.30.09

Watching: n/a (Lent)
Listening: Here Come the Irish by Cathy Richardson
Reading: AfroAsian Encounters, eds Heike Raphael-Hernandez and Shannon Steen

News of the Day:

• Nutt-y woman's house invaded by squirrels.
• Speaking of nuts, Glenn Beck is crazy in every language.
• Pay for your tv shows. (But please let me keep watching Comedy Central for free!)
• Dominic West says UK tv sucks. But you guys gave us The Office and Life on Mars!
• Chicago doesn't want the Olympics. Which makes sense because they already have Barack Obama.
  

TVLand:

Despite having largely given up television for Lent (read: youtube and youku), I managed to sneak a peek at a few shows. Two more weeks of swearing off the hard stuff in the name of God, many more months in the name of my still sparse thesis.

The Wire starts its BBC run this week. Television snobs turn up their noses at the plebs who are just now discovering this masterpiece of corruption, violence, addiction, and general ineptitude. An American tragedy, indeed. **Okay, I confess I have not seen it. But I've also been abroad and HBO-less. (For the record, Dominic West has been on my radar since that odious Midsummer Night's Dream adaptation, an effort sullied by those occasional American 'actors'.)

Horne and Corden - shitteous!!! A opus of inanity. The penis on the roof is funnier, and more mature, than this assault on the eyeballs. All you need to know is that James Corden is fat and Mathew Horne is slightly effeminate. I forced myself to laugh one time because of my now very residual affection for James Corden from History Boys. Lesbian Vampire Killers, their new flick? I'd rather watch Tom Cruise. Happy Lent, boys - I will absolve them of their sin if they watch their own show 100x and promise never to venture into sketch again.

Robin Hood returns not so merrily. When we left them in the Holy Land, Guy of Gisbourne had just plunged a broadsword into Maid Marian's tum. Ouch. But she still hung on long enough to cough up some marriage vows and sweet nothings. But now Robin is pissed and Guy needs to get himself to an AA meeting, and a barbershop. Basically, Locksley sucks. Will the arrival of a few hot chicks and a black Friar Tuck liven things up?? 12 more episodes to find out. Re the criticisms over our improbably kick-ass Friar Tuck - get over it because y'all didn't complain when the Holy Land looked like Tatooine. It's a bloody tv show about a guy who, in past incarnations, wore green tights and was a FOX (the animal, not the woman).

The Great Sperm Race is the first show I've watched narrated by Richard Armitage (see above, Guy of Gisbourne). What can you say about a documentary that inflates the Gherkin (the bullet building in London) into a giant testical, casts thousands of actors in white sweats as human-size sperm, and compares the female reproductive parts to various natural terrain? Entertaining, but not quite as romantic as say Richard Armitage expounding on trade and production in North and South.

I'm not a vampire-werewolf-ghost fan, so Being Human appears on my radar only because of Russell Tovey (the werewolf), another History Boys alum. I'll offer some cerebral praise. Spot-on acting, engaging characters, wide appeal bereft of obvious pandering and appeals. There are enough plot twists (episode and series) to push the story forward but never in ways that compromise the organic growth of the characters.

Anatomy of an Obsession

When there's not much to write about.....how I became an avowed Richard Armitage fan.

After perusing the fan forums, I conclude that I'm not entirely off the deep end, though admittedly more delusional than your average television viewer. Still nuts enough to write an entire blog post about an actor though, as if obsessing alone somehow dampens the crazy factor. It doesn't.

Crazy kicked off with a random viewing of North Square, a show about some posh totty lawyers. RPJ played his usual smug, smart, but somehow lovable self. About this time, the 7th series of Spooks was starting. I gave it a go, only because of one Rupert Penry-Jones. Little did I know he was going to get blown up in the first episode, or that I wouldn't miss him at all thereafter, or that the show would be awesome. Didn't really pay attention when Lucas North was first dragged out with a bag over his head. It wasn't until the conversation in the car with Harry Pierce that the man even registered on the radar. It's the moment when Lucas says that he'd agree to play spy for the Russians and he gets this look...is he really a double agent? Verrry intriguing. While everyone else was deciding what side he's on, I was trying to figure out if this scraggly actor (his character had just emerged from 8 years of Russian imprisonment) was dangerously handsome or just a skinny dude who needed a haircut, a shower, and some chicken.

Well, we know how that one turned out. Here is where credit goes to the show for its delicious powers of seduction. Those first 60 minutes of season 7 were television crack. There were many plot and character strands that converged into one explosive climax - possible double agent, massive bomb plot, kidnapped soldier. What really hooked me though was the return of Ros, agent extraordinaire. If MI5 recruited more people like her, they wouldn't be leaving shit in cabs and trains all the time. In her opening scene, she is informed by the Section D that her mission is compromised, and she's ordered out of Russia where she's working undercover. But one phone call ain't stopping this woman. She's minutes away from reaching her contact, and when she arrives, the guy's dead. As she's searching his body for information, she spies, from a beer bottle, an assassin. Within seconds, she disposes of the guy, probably with her bare hands and without secreting a bead of sweat. In my Second Life, I want to be Ros.

But I diverge. By now, I'm hooked, and since Lucas North is kind of a major character, and because he appears tattooed, shirtless, and ripped, my curiosity is piqued. Naturally, I do a little research. I don't remember what came next - Robin Hood, Vicar of Dibley, or North and South - but the combination of those 3, plus the ongoing series of Spooks was like Charlie getting lost in the Chocolate Factory (wait a minute...). Pure imagination and sensory overload.


And that's how it happened.