News of the Day 1.22.10 (the mostly Asian edition)

• Helllls no. This is turning into some Chinese corruption outing blog, not that I particularly mind. Another day, another scandal. This time, students caught cheating in a marathon. Yes, no arena is safe from the Chinese student. Okay, I'm sympathetic; the university entrance exam's a bitch, the whole system is skewed, you can't depend on a sibling to fulfill your parents' dreams. But really, I saw this scam on an episode of Monk.
• The Chinese are taking over everything, including language instruction in American schools.
  
• Latest from the Google-China death match. After Hillary Clinton's smackdown yesterday, China has responded: "The US has...insinuated that China restricts internet freedom. This runs contrary to the facts..." Yes, if those facts originate from the Twilight Zone. Yet the Chinese also want and need to tread lightly and The New York Times is reporting that the government is approaching it as a business rather than a political tete-a-tete. Some commentary on The Great Firewall and how it's evolved into a tool for other authoritarian regimes to restrict speech in their countries.
• S-U-M-O.
• After Australians offended Americans and engaged in a diplomatic row with India, it's only fair that the world return the favor. Now Aboriginals are crying foul over a Russian skating pair who have decided to pin their hope for Olympic glory on a so-called Aboriginal skating routine. Yes, their brown outfits are decorated with leaves and they will be death spiraling to whoops and 'rhythmic chanting'.
• Closer to home, however, Senator Inhofe (R-OK) declares his unabashed support for racial profiling. Really, we wouldn't want one country to have a monopoly on racial controversy.
• For news that won't induce heartburn and may help in other matters, yet more research has come out suggesting that loading up on Omega-3s will do oodles of good for your body. Running also increases the gray matter in your brain, and that sounds important.
• Change your password.
• A burger as 'wide as a birthday cake'. That spells love. And you can find the pljeskavica in the Balkans.
• Will the real Jane Austen please stand up?